Addiction, be it drugs, alcohol, or otherwise, is incredibly stressful. If your spouse is an addict, it must be painful to watch them change and become different because of their addiction. Many couples feel that if their spouse becomes an addict, their relationships get compromised. It is also the sole reason why many marriages end in divorce. When a person gets addicted, they forget about anyone and everyone around them. They do not care for their relationships, their job, or anything else. They only focus on their substance use. It is their way of escape, and the addict does not even realize how destructive it can be for others around them.
If you do not want your relationship to suffer, you should communicate with them calmly. Talk about how you feel, how the addiction is overtaking your relationship, and what you think should be the solution. It is necessary to confront your spouse early on without staying in denial, thinking that they are just socially drinking/smoking. It may be easier to believe there isn’t a problem, but it will cause difficulties long-term for both of you. If you tackle the problem early on, it will help with recovery and save your relationship. Below we talk about four things you can do when your spouse is addicted.
- Consider Treatment Options
After your spouse accepts the problem and is willing to work on it, both of you can consider the possible treatment options. Nowadays, you have a variety of options available. You can opt for rehabilitation centers, online therapy, or support groups around your area. For instance, if you live in Florida, you can consult Delphi Behavioral Health Group to get the proper treatment. They provide excellent rehab facilities for addiction treatment and substance abuse.
Online therapy helps in understanding your feelings and examines how they affect your addictive behaviors. It helps in vocalizing the problems an individual may have and explains why they need substance use. Sometimes people use it because they already have underlying problems and use addictive behaviors as a coping mechanism. These problems can get resolved through therapy. Support groups aim to share grief and other issues collectively with other people as a group. These groups have different approaches to treat addiction based on what an individual requires. You can opt for any such treatment, which suits both you and your spouse.
- Help During Treatment
Once you have decided on the treatment plan, the recovery phase can be aggressive. You must help your spouse during this challenging journey. For example, you can take them to therapy, join support groups with them, or even be a source of positivity that motivates them in their progress. The more you show support and trust to your spouse, the more they will feel safe. It will also help them realize that their road to recovery is helping them realize their mistakes. It is also fixing their relationships with friends and family.
It is also important to remember that a person on the road to recovery may experience relapse. However, relapse does not mean recovery is not working. It is only a part of the recovery process, and you must not give up. You can motivate and encourage them more during this difficult time instead of getting upset and losing hope. It will be necessary to help them go back in their recovery process and continue with their treatment.
- Be Mindful of Enabling Behaviors
The most important thing one can do is to be cautious of enabling behaviors. Enabling is when a person does stuff for an addict that shields them from repercussions, which allows them to continue with their addictive behaviors. If one is not careful, it will cause addiction to continue and may even get worse. For example, you can cover their mistakes, allow them to give up on treatment, or provide for their finances in the case of losing their job. The worst part of enabling behaviors is that it is out of love and with the best intentions. However, it does more damage than help. It is tough to stop helping and watching your loved one struggle, but you must remember the greater goal. It will help them change their behavior and protect them from bigger consequences in the future.
Furthermore, it is essential to remember the benefit of treatment programs, which will help your spouse develop good qualities and learn to stay sober. Due to this, you must set boundaries and hold them accountable for wrong actions.
- Support Yourself
No matter how much you may try, there is a big possibility that your partner might continue with their addiction. They could stop treatment or refuse altogether. Therefore, you must support yourself. Every individual has a threshold of patience and endurance. Thus, only you can assess your position based on your limitations and decide if you need to leave the relationship. You must keep yourself a priority and set certain boundaries that you cannot compromise, such as physical or mental abuse. Existing in a toxic relationship can take a toll on your mental health. Therefore, you need to make sure that you do not sacrifice your mental well-being, health, and happiness to keep your bond alive. It takes strength to help your partner get through a rough patch such as addiction. However, it takes far more courage to take a step for yourself by parting ways when your boundaries become violated. However, many times the problem gets resolved, and the addict is willing to change their behaviors. But it is still necessary to know when you should put yourself first and draw the line.
Final Thoughts
For any individual, their relationship with their partner is the one they cherish the most. Being a supportive partner, you may try to protect your spouse by telling yourself their addiction is not problematic. You don’t want your partner to feel that their abusive addiction is the root of all difficulties. But you must realize the need for treatment. You need to address the issue with your partner while making them feel a sense of security. However, it is necessary to convince hesitant partners to accept help. It is the only way to save their life and their relationships.
